Overcoming the Guilt of Starting

When Lindsay of the Self-Made and Savvy Podcast and I first talked about a guest post, it seemed like a natural fit to write about the guilt of creating your own empire. Lindsay wakes up at 5 am to make her dreams happen, on top of being a full-time mom. Naturally, she seemed like the expert. As I began reworking The Vino Collective, the guilt of spending time on my “side hustle” started to take its toll. Instead of applying for jobs 24/7, I learned I needed to find my sanity again in something I could call my own. 

As we move into 2017, think about all of the pieces you let get in the way of starting your own dream. Are you going to let your dreams slip by for yet another year?

There’s No Perfect Time

Just like having a baby, there never really is the perfect and ideal time to start your own online business. You could wait for every ideal situation to appear in your life or you could just do what you’ve been dreaming of.

Some women start before they have families and some women wait to start until their kids are more grown up. And some women start when they have little ones at home. But, I’m guessing that every single one of them would say they didn’t start in a perfect and ideal way.

These are the women who would give anything to work from home, have something of their own, and be successful on their own terms. That’s my kind of girl.

This doesn’t come without a little… or maybe a lot of guilt. You worry (before you even get started) about the time it’s going to take away from your family, personal life, and possibly your professional life. You come up with all sorts of ways that you can drive up some guilt and you keep procrastinating your dreams. They continue to be grabbed off the shelf and then put back on.

It’s a never ending cycle.

A lot of times we use the word, “I feel guilty,” instead of “I’m scared.” What do I mean by this?

Feeling guilty gives us more power to hold off on projects that we claim will take away certain things from our daily life. If we admit to ourselves and others that we’re just plain old scared to start then that almost feels like a failure. It’s just a bad combination and it’ll eat you up inside until you finally give up on your dreams altogether.

That’s why I’m here! I want you to know it’s POSSIBLE to start something of your very own without all of the guilt. It really is.

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Here were my biggest fears:

● Losing time with my kids

● Losing time with my husband

● Losing time for other family members

● Losing time for myself

● Losing time for daily responsibilities

How I Moved My Schedule to Fit My Ideal Life

Every single one of these fears had to do with time. So, I knew first hand that I had to be able to take care of this. So, I set hours for myself. I work full time from home for a large corporation. To make my business work, I have to go to my full-time job at 5 AM. No matter how much that sucks. No matter what time or times the littlest one decides to wake up crying for a story, a drink of water, or just a hug. No matter how tired I am since I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in, like, forever. I had to do this because I knew that I needed a full afternoon to work on my business.

I also made sure I was up super early on the weekends too. Ideally, everyone else is sleeping so that gives me extra super mom work time. Would it be nice to sleep in until the kids decide to wake up on a Saturday morning? Heck yes! But, I would lose so much productive time that is very difficult to replace.

My family is aware that I work on my business during these times and they respect that. I have two small children and one on the way and they are accustomed to my day. It’s just like bringing a newborn home -they need to work around your schedule- not the other way around.

Do not feel guilty to let your kids see mommy working. This is a big one. If you set your own hours then this will become a routine thing. Kids love and need routine. They’re at home with you. You can have conversations with them, feed them, change diapers, change the channel, read them a book, sit by them, have lunch with them, and all that good stuff while you’re working. How great is that?

You are worth it. Don’t you dare tell yourself that you’re not!

You couldn’t be further from the truth. If you have this idea in your head for months or years and you just keep putting it off because you don’t think you’re worthwhile then let me be the first one to tell you that starting your business will give you a kind of confidence that you’ve never had before. Taking the first step is scary because you’re scared of what everyone is going to think. What will your family and friends think? Will they think you’re a total flake? Will they even understand what you’re doing?

Most of them won’t understand or really care what you’re putting out there. It’s just true. You may get upset because Aunt Carol didn’t like your first blog post or your cousin April never shared your Facebook page. Who cares? Did you start your business for Aunt Carol and cousin April? No. Move on. There are people out there waiting for your level of expertise and it’s your job to find where they are so you can help them. If you’re still scared to dip those toes in the water then close your eyes and picture your ideal client waiting for you. Now take the leap.

You shouldn’t have to wait if you don’t want to. Don’t wait until your kids are this age or that age.

Like I said, I will soon have 3. If I kept telling myself, “I’ll start my own business when he/she is in kindergarten…” well then I’d be setting myself back three times. I knew I didn’t and couldn’t wait to start what I have. I knew if I worked hard and was disciplined with my work that I could do it.

You can have something of your very own. 100% of this is yours. Sometimes it’s hard for moms to have something all their very own because pretty much everything you have is theirs.

Remember when you last got to go to the bathroom by yourself, with no one barging in or banging on the door? Me neither. Or time isn’t even ours anymore. That’s why it’s so hard to get through to ourselves that we could, in fact, have our own business.

By now I hope you’re being a little bit less hard on yourself and you are actually considering taking that leap to just START. It may not happen as fast as this lady over here or that lady over there, but, they’re not you. You know what you want. And you’ll do whatever it takes and work however long it takes to get there. You deserve it. You have something really special to offer to the world and there is nothing holding you back.

Are you ready to build your own rock solid business? Download Lindsay’s free checklist, for my new and upcoming course, The Passion to Profit Plan.